Money talks

There is a generous compensation for this process.

Basically a third of the compensation I'm receiving will go to a vacation, a third will go to bills and the last third will go to my savings account.

The biggest rule I have is that I am not allowed to spend any of this money on anyone but myself. I'm the one giving up the eggos, injecting myself everyday with needles, turning into a giant PMS monster; this process is all about me.

Or I could just go to Vegas and burn it all on gambling, hookers and blow like I'm a mother fucking rock star.

Booked

In early November I shall start all the medical steps necessary to donate.

I'll fly across the country for my initial medical evaluation then being a schedule of 3 types hormone injections that I will have to administer to myself.

Some fun side effects will include:
-*Moodiness* (it's the first side effect of each hormone)
-Hot Flashes
-Headache
-Fatigue
-Bloating

So I'll be a giant ball of PMS for about 24 days. Get excited!!!

Legal

I had to sign two contracts; one between myself and the company that facilitates egg donation and another contact between myself and the intended parents.

Basically, once I signed the dotted line and began my treatment I'd have to follow through with it. No backing out or I could be sued for breach of contract and for emotional distress. I don't like the idea of being sued, frankly, neither do the eggos. It's on like Donkey Kong.

I had some options. I chose to be notified if the intended parents get pregnant (MAZEL TOV!) and I chose to be contacted by the eggos when they grown up if they'd like to know about me. And I feel like that is a big if. The eggos clearly have parents that will go to the ends of the earth for them and have a great financial situation. Apparently, money can buy you love, a baby AND a fatty pimped out BMW on your sixteenth birthday.

Those lucky little bastards.

PSYCH! [exam]

The first step of the process is a psychological exam. There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to sit in a room with someone you don't know and tell them every detail about yourself. The Shrink now knows things that even my best girl friend and best gay friend don't even know about me. Mazel tov.

I sat on the little couch with my little cup of water and began to be questioned.

Have you ever been molested? Have you ever been raped? Have you ever been pregnant or had an abortion? Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence? How many sexual partners have you had?

Clearly, she just dove right into the most uncomfortable questions ever.

No. No. No. No. Aaaaaand none of your business (I told her).

Every time after this lady asked me a question, I would second guess my own answers. She had on glasses and her eyebrows would arch with every response I gave. I had to double check myself. "No, I've never been arrested." And then she'd look at me over her glasses and my brain would go: REALLY?!?!?! ARE YOU SURE?!?! NOT ONCE?!?!? I went to church three nights a week in high school and studied for fun. Of course I've never been arrested.

Then she said, "I would like you to repeat these three words after me: rabbit, justice, blue."
Me: "Rabbit, justice, blue"
Shrink, "Remember those three words for later."

Balls. Of course you're going to play a memory game. I'm going to give you the most intimate details of my life and try to remember the most random set of words you just threw at me in the back of my mind.

Yes, I had a great childhood. RABBIT JUSTICE BLUE Yes, both my parents loved me. Yes, I was an excellent student. No, I don't hear voices. RABBIT JUSTICE BLUE. No, I don't have any special powers.Yes, I believe in God. I graduated from college. Yes, I understand the emotional impact of this procedure. RABBIT JUSTICE BLUE. No, I don't drink very often anymore. RABBIT JUSTICE....ERRR UMMMM.............BLUE!!!!!!! 26 + 17 = 43 (Yeah she threw in some 2nd grade math problems to fuck with me).Yes, there has been a death of someone close to me. No, I have never had a sexually transmitted disease. 32 - 9 = 23. Yes, I am okay with giving up my genetic material to someone else.

Shrink, "And what were those words I asked you to remember earlier?"
Me, "Rabbit. Justice. Blue."

VICTORY! :)

The Beginning

Once upon a time there was a twenty-two year old college graduate who had no idea what to do with her life(well, she still doesn't know what to do with her life but that is besides the point). She graduated, had no job, had no serious romantic interests and had no desire to commit to anything in any way. However, broke and desperate for something to do on a Wednesday afternoon, she saw an advertisement for egg donation. After doing a little bit of research, she committed herself enough to make a profile and go to a meeting about it. Mostly the girl did it out of boredom and curiosity and because she wanted the money to go on an awesome vacation.

Two years later, I get a call from a Case Manager telling me I have been matched. Holy balls. After I filled out the donor profile, I pretty much forgot it existed. It's only been a couple of weeks but I am already a little overwhelmed by how easy this entire process actually is for me to do. I get to fly across the country and have a short little vacation while they harvest my eggos out of me and pass it over to someone who is willing to go to the ends of the earth and dig deep into their bank account to create a child.

I created a donor profile by letting the intended parents know my likes/dislikes, my family medical history and by posting some adorable pictures of myself. Someone saw me and thought I looked enough like them to create one good looking bambino that could pass as their own. 

I  feel no connection to my eggs. I mostly just want them to go away every month without incident. They terrify me a little bit. Parenthood is one of the scariest things anyone is willing or forced to get themselves into. It doesn't really freak me out that some guy I've never met will have his sperm injected into my eggs and possibly create a little human being with toes and teeny tiny fingers. Once the eggs leave my body, they belong to someone else, and I'm happy to help out.

So it begins. I'll update as my experience progresses. I'll tell you about the psych exam and the legal consult over the next couple days. Let me know if you have any questions.